When Shep was younger, I remember thinking his breath smelled kind of like pickles. I don't know why but I loved it...and yes, I brushed his teeth twice a day- I'm ocd about his teeth. So I loved holding him and smelling a sweet little pickle smell. Madi smells like syrup. She loves to put her head right into my neck and I smell her and it is so sweet. Holding them and smelling their special little smells makes me relax and feel so much better after a long day. I think most parents feel that way about their babies. That is why we can't understand the Casey Anthony trial. (on a side note, we should all be thankful we live in a country where we have the opportunity to be judged by a jury of our peers, even if they don't get it right all the time) Even if she didn't kill her baby, she shouldn't have been out having a good time while her daughter was MIA. We know what we would do if our children were missing...we wouldn't sleep, but not because of parties, because we would be doing everything to find them. I read about a guy that injured his 4 month old baby to the point it died a few days later. They didn't give details, and I probably don't want to know, but I can't imagine hurting my lovies. Madi tried my patience. Not her fault, but between her reflux, colic, poo issues etc etc I was a hot mess. Most nights we both cried from about 11pm to 2am. Never once did I want to hurt her. No matter how tired, mad, frustrated, desperate or hopeless I felt I could never imagine doing anything to that sweet baby.
Our world is a mess...I used to walk down the block and go to the park as a kid, but I am pretty sure I am going to be a helicopter mom. I am not going to risk it. Sure, I will walk 10 feet behind you at the mall, and I promise not to be embarrassing when I chaperon your school dance. When you go off to college, it might be a good time for me to take those classes I always wanted to take...OK fine. I won't go to college with my kids, and I will give them some freedoms but I am not going to take any chances. God gave me 2 beautiful gifts. I am beyond blessed. Not everyone has the opportunity to be a mom. Whether a child of the womb or child of the heart, being a mom is a wonderful responsibility. Our job now is to pray for Casey. She obviously needs it. Is is so hard to want to pray for her, but she needs to know she can be forgiven if she asks Him for forgiveness. Maybe somewhere in there she will wake up one day and realize what she has done and be truly sorry. One can only hope...and pray
