I don't know why, but today I was thinking about how becoming a parent turns you into a bad friend. I am actually a really nice person. I babysit for others, give neighbors rides, and I try to attend every bday, babyshower and wedding I am invited to. The thing is, I don't have time to be a good friend. Working full-time, having 2 young children, going to church, keeping my house somewhere between clean and disaster, etc etc etc changes priorities. Not that friends aren't important, but the small windows of time I have I generally have scheduled or spend with my family. Before, I could make last minute plans to meet people after work and not worry about picking up kids from daycare. I didn't care about driving across the metroplex to meet a friend. Now I think, well it will take me an hour to get over there, and hour back and if I spend 2 hours there that is 4 hours away at least. Also a reason I don't update my blog much...I would rather go play power rangers with Shep because I know these special times go by so fast. I have lost a few friends over it, which makes me sad. Some people have more flexibility, or tons of family available to watch their children and I have neither. I am ok with it though. While I miss several people that don't understand the change, I have gained so much wisdom from my children. God has used them to teach me so many lessons about love, compassion, kindness...things that have made me be a better person in so many ways. I have learned to ask people about their families and listen. Not just ask a question and not care about the answer- as many people do. While I have always understood the sacrifice to give His only Son, I now feel it when I hear it. I can almost feel the pain and sorrow of watching Him die. I have this different attachment to it and it has made me much more emotional about the stories and during worship at church. I am a much better Christian. When people say children change your life, I had no idea. Now I do, and every night when I pray I first thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mom and blessing me with 2 amazing and beautiful children.
One day I will have more time, and will hopefully get to spend some time with friends that have had to be put on a back burner for now. While I may be called a bad friend, yesterday Shep told me I was a good mom...and today he said I was skinny and pretty (smart kid!)- in the grand scheme of life, what he calls me is a little more important!
